(Pictured: the ploughman's lunch is just one 'Kitchen Sink' cafe special. Click here to see the complete cafe/bar menu for 'The Kitchen Sink'.)
I thought ‘The Kitchen Sink’ would be a walk in the park after the biblically-referenced menu of 'Sixty-Six Books'. Not so.
The play is based in Withernsea, so it was pretty obvious to me to get some local food on the menu. I cheerily put in a call to David Nowell, Acting Chair, East Riding of Yorkshire Local Food Network.
“Hello. I’m calling from the Bush Theatre and we are putting on an exciting new play based in Withernsea and would like the menu to include local dishes. I wonder if…”
“Not another one,” was the gruff interruption.
“… Another one? We thought it quite a novel idea …”
“ No. I’m afraid we are always being asked things like this. We’ve just had the Royal Academy on the phone for Hockneys show.”
I think my deflated “oh” won me some sympathy.
“I’ll say the same to you as I said to them. Do fish and chips.”
“Yes, that would be great, but we have no fryer…”
“Crab? Lobster? Mussels?”
“Anything non-seafood?”
“Look. It’s all farming around here. Just do a ploughman's and that’ll work fine.”
“Thanks so much; can you maybe tell me a bit more about what is farmed?”
“Farming! Cows! Cheese! Pigs! Ham! And lots of potatoes. I have to get on. This kind of thing is taking up a lot of my time.”
“So sorry. Thank you so much for your…”
Beeeeeep.
So, that’s all I had to go on. Firstly, that the novel idea of a menu/show marriage was not so novel after all; secondly, the suggestion of a ploughman's lunch.
In the play, Kath, the mother, is an experimental cook. Again, I thought this was a gift to menu-planning.
No. In the beautiful play by Tom Wells, Kath cooks courgette muffins, couscous salad (which husband Martin hates) and sushi. I was immediately in agreement with Martin in this scene:
Martin: Sushi?
Kath: Is it s step too far?
Martin: On Christmas Day. Yes, it is.
And it is a step too far for this menu. So here it is: ploughman’s lunch, couscous and a bacon buttie which I am imagining Billy, Sophie and Pete filling up on during journeys home in expectation of whatever new, inedible dish their mum is going to present them for tea.
And do remember to think of Mr. Nowell when you are standing in front of David Hockney’s 'Bigger Trees Near Warter' at the Royal Academy. Enjoy the fish and chips.
