The Real Ones

Written by Waleed Akhtar
A Bush Theatre Production
Book tickets
Until 26 Oct
World Premiere

★★★★ “Funny, heartfelt and brutally honest… a bittersweet love letter to platonic friendship” (London Theatre)

The “impressive, intelligent, touching” (Telegraph) new play from Olivier Award winner Waleed Akhtar (The P Word).


A story of growing up, growing apart and falling short, this “intimate and expansive” new play is “theatrical magic” (BroadwayWorld). The Real Onescements Waleed Akhtar’s standing as a fearless writer with oodles of talent and bravura” (The Guardian).

The “perfectly cast” ensemble (London Theatre 1) includes an “excellent, incredibly likable” (London Theatre) Nathaniel Curtis (It’s A Sin) as Zaid alongside a “superb” (Time Out) Mariam Haque (Black Mirror) as Neelam.

“I love you. Like genuinely I love you. You’re a real one.”

Best friends Zaid and Neelam shared a dream: get away, make it as playwrights, build a future where they’re free to be themselves. Together, always.

Years later, things are far from what they expected. Zaid’s life has kinda stalled – half out the closet, living at home and still chasing the dream. While Neelam’s has taken a completely different path, as she chooses to prioritise her own happiness.

As their lives pull further apart and a mess of things left unsaid hangs between them, it becomes less and less clear if they’ll ever find a way back to each other.

The limited run of this “beautifully observed, bittersweet drama” (Time Out) has been extended, with performances now until 26 October.

This production is generously supported by Charles Holloway OBE.

Looking for show information and content guidance?
The Real Ones Self-Care Guide and Content Warnings

Times & Prices

Details

Dates

16 October - 26 OctoberFrom £15

  • Senior Citizen: From £27.50
  • Student / Under 30: From £25
  • Unemployed/Unwaged: From £15
  • Access: From £15
  • Standard: From £15
  • Personal Assistant (Access Companion): From £15

Wednesday Matinees

16, 23 OctoberFrom £15

  • Senior Citizen: From £27.50
  • Student / Under 30: From £25
  • Unemployed/Unwaged: From £15
  • Access: From £15
  • Standard: From £15
  • Personal Assistant (Access Companion): From £15

Saturday Matinees

19, 26 OctoberFrom £15

  • Senior Citizen: From £27.50
  • Student / Under 30: From £25
  • Unemployed/Unwaged: From £15
  • Access: From £15
  • Standard: From £15
  • Personal Assistant (Access Companion): From £15
Running time approx 2 hours

Performed in

HOLLOWAY THEATRE (Bush Theatre's main space)

Ticket info

Our ticket prices increase with demand, so book early to guarantee seats at the best price. Click here to find out more.

Standard tickets

From £30.

Looking for a bargain? There's lots of ways to save!

Book a £15 Count Me In ticket, join as a member or nab a season ticket. Find out more at bushtheatre.co.uk/save.

Age Guidance

14+

Content Warnings

Please note, this production contains strobe lighting, flashing lights, and loud noises including high frequency feedback sounds. See the Self-Care Guide and Content Warnings for more information.

Access details

Relaxed & Sensory Adapted Performances

Saturday 21st September at 2:30pm & Thursday 10th October at 7:30pm

Captioned Performances

Thursday 26th September at 7:30pm & Saturday 5th October at 2:30pm

Audio Described Performances

Saturday 28th September at 2:30pm & Thursday 3rd October at 7:30pm

Touch Tours

Saturday 28th September at 1:30pm & Thursday 3rd October at 6:30pm


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WINNER Olivier Award, Achievement in Affiliate Theatre
The P Word, by Waleed Akhtar
"A beautifully frank tribute to platonic friendship"
Financial Times
"Visceral… gorgeously written.
Waleed Akhtar is a playwright of our generation."
Hamza Jahanzeb
"Powerful, witty, and fast-paced"
London Theatre Reviews
"Funny, heartfelt and brutally honest... a bittersweet love letter to platonic friendship"

London Theatre
"Captivating... a slow-burning tale that is as full of humour, melodrama and passionate relationship moments as real life"
The Reviews Hub
"A resounding success.
Nathaniel Curtis and Mariam Haque are equally spell-binding."
All That Dazzles
"Slick and stylish... an impactful, relatable play from a very exciting writer."
Broadway World
"engrossing, enjoyable and thought-provoking... definitely a play for our times"
The Arts Desk
"an anthem to those who know you from the very beginning"
Theatre & Tonic
"an affecting picture of a friendship changing shape over time until the pieces of its jigsaw are so chipped or blunted that they no longer fit together"
The Stage

Photo & video

Set and Costume Designer
Director
Assistant Director
Lighting Designer
Voice and Accent Coach
Movement Director
Production Manager
Casting Director
Costume Supervisor
Video Designer
Company Stage Manager
Assistant Stage Manager
Intimacy Director
Dramaturg
Writer
Sound Designer

Cast

Nnabiko Ejimofor
Nnabiko Ejimofor plays Deji. Nnabiko trained at RADA and received an Olivier Award Nomination for Best Supporting Actor for his performance in For Black Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When The Hue Gets Too Heavy, and he won the 2022 Stage Debut Award for Best Performer in a Play. Recent credits include: Now, I See (Stratford East); Jitney (Old Vic / Headlong); For Black Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When The Hue Gets Too Heavy (West End / Royal Court / New Diorama). Radio includes: Sarah Walker’s Sunday Morning Show. Short film credits include: Good Vibes Only and Figure. Nnabiko has previously been a dancer for Boy Blue Entertainment and won the Lilian Baylis Award.
Anthony Howell
Anthony Howell plays Jeremy. His theatre work includes: King Lear (Chichester/ATG); The Best Man (Bill Kenwright Ltd); The Heresy of Love, Julius Caesar, Anne Boleyn, Henry VIII (Globe); The Seagull (Southwark); Jingo (Primavera), A Doll’s House, Portrait of a Lady (Theatre Royal Bath); The French Lieutenant’s Woman (Nick Brooke Ltd); The Lifeblood (Lifeblood Theatre Company); And Then There Were None (Act Productions); Romeo & Juliet, The Comedy of Errors, As You Like It (RSC); The Geometry of Miracles (Ex Machina); The Promise (Dalia Ibelhauptaite). On television he has appeared in: A Thousand Blows (Disney+); Fool Me Once (Quay Street Pictures / Netflix); This Town (Kudos/BBC); Outlander (Sony/Starz/Leftbank); This England (Revolutions Films/Sky); Ransom (CBS); Luther, Wives and Daughters (BBC); Medici – Kingdom of Gold (Lux Vide / Big Light Productions); Apocalypse Slough (Working Title/NBC for Sky); Crossing Lines (NBC); Dracula (Sky/NBC); Dirk Gently (ITV Productions for BBC4); Mr Selfridge, Shetland, Foyle's War, Frances Fyfield’s Helen West, Ultimate Force (ITV); Hawking, The Other Boleyn Girl (BBC Films); Swallow (Channel 4). On film he has appeared in: Diamond Sky (Fortunes Cap Productions); Widow’s Walk (In Your Face Films); Woman In Gold (Origin Productions); Dungeons & Dragons 3: The Book Of Vile Darkness (Silver Pictures).
Mariam Haque
Mariam Haque plays Neelam. Her theatre credits include: When Winston Went To War With The Wireless (Donmar); Folk, The House of Bilquis Bibi (Hampstead); The Living Newspaper (Royal Court); When the Crows Visit (Kiln); Romeo and Juliet, Macbeth (RSC); Hometruths (Cardboard Citizens); Diana Of Dobsons (New Vic); Dara, Behind the Beautiful Forevers (National); Almost Near & Hurried Steps (Finborough); Crossed Keys (Eastern Angles); Invasion? (Tooting Arts Club); Monster Under the Bed (Polka). Her film and television credits include: Joy, Black Mirror and Shut Up & Dance (Netflix); Such Brave Girls, Ladhood, Worzel Gummidge, This Is Going To Hurt, Henpocalypse!, Pls Like, Doctors, Eastenders, Holby City and Hunted (all BBC); Live at the Moth Club (Dave); What’s Happening? (Baby Cow); Plebs, The Finale, Midsomer Murders, Finding Alice (all ITV); What’s Love Got To Do With It (Studio Canal / Working Title); Down From London (Topic); Trying (Apple); Homeland (Showtime); Flowers (Channel 4); Benjamin, Wasteland (Open Palm Films); and Smear (Shadowhouse).
Nathaniel Curtis
Nathaniel Curtis plays Zaid. He is best known for his breakout role of Ash Mukherjee in Russell T Davies’ powerful Channel 4 series, It’s A Sin. Nathaniel’s theatre credits include: 2:22: A Ghost Story (UK Tour); Disruption (Park); Romeo and Juliet (UK Tour); The Tempest (UK Tour); Pride and Prejudice (Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre). On television he has appeared as Brían in The Witcher: Blood Origin (Netflix), Dolph Laserhawk in Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix (Netflix) and Isaac Newton in Doctor Who (BBC). His audio credits include: Torchwood – Cuckoo (Big Finish) and Auris (Audible).

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