“I love you. Like genuinely I love you. You’re a real one.”
Best friends Zaid and Neelam shared a dream: get away, make it as playwrights, build a future where they’re free to be themselves. Together, always.
Years later, things are far from what they expected. Zaid’s life has kinda stalled – half out the closet, living at home and still chasing the dream. While Neelam’s has taken a completely different path, as she chooses to prioritise her own happiness.
As their lives pull further apart and a mess of things left unsaid hangs between them, it becomes less and less clear if they’ll ever find a way back to each other.
The Real Ones, is a funny and honest love letter to platonic soulmates. The world premiere production comes from the team behind the Olivier Award-winning sensation, The P Word, reuniting writer Waleed Akthar and director Anthony Simpson Pike.
Looking for show information and content guidance?
The Real Ones Self-Care Guide and Content Warnings
06 September - 19 OctoberFrom £15
14, 21, 28 September and 5, 12, 19 OctoberFrom £15
18, 25 September and 2, 9, 16 OctoberFrom £15
Our ticket prices increase with demand, so book early to guarantee seats at the best price. Click here to find out more.
From £25.
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14+
See the Self-Care Guide and Content Warnings for more information.
Saturday 21st September at 2:30pm & Thursday 10th October at 7:30pm
Thursday 26th September at 7:30pm & Saturday 5th October at 2:30pm
Saturday 28th September at 2:30pm & Thursday 3rd October at 7:30pm
Saturday 28th September at 1:30pm & Thursday 3rd October at 6:30pm
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Anthony Simpson-Pike is a director, dramaturg and writer. He was Deputy Artistic Director at the Yard Theatre, Resident Director at Theatre Peckham and Associate Director at the Gate Theatre. Recent directorial work includes Samuel Takes a Break… at The Yard Theatre, Beautiful Thing at Stratford East, Grenfell: In the Words of Survivors at the National Theatre (which is transferred to St Ann’s Warehouse in New York in April 2024), and, at the Bush, Olivier Award winning The P Word and Lava (nominated for Best Director at the Black British Theatre Awards); and An Octoroon at the Abbey, Dublin (nominated for Best Production at the Irish Times Theatre Awards).
Recent dramaturgical credits include Now, I See at Stratford East, Much Ado About Nothing for the RSC; Samskara at the Yard Theatre; Hotline with Produced Moon at the Tron; Dear Young Monster by Pete McHale for The Queer House; and Coup de Grace at the Royal Court.
For the Bush: Olivier Award winning Sleepova, and The P Word, and Olivier nominated A Playlist for The Revolution.
Theatre includes: G (Royal Court); The Comeuppance (Almeida); The Flea; Samuel Takes a Break; Multiple Casualty Incident (The Yard); Sweat (Royal Exchange, Manchester).
Waleed Akhtar is a writer and actor. He was the recipient of the 2023 Peggy Ramsay/Film 4 bursary and was awarded an MGC Futures bursary winner in 2021. He won Most Promising Playwright at The Offies 2023 and was nominated for the equivalent at The Evening Standard Awards. His play, The P Word won the Outstanding Achievement in an Affiliate Theatre at the 2023 Olivier Awards, alongside a nomination for Best Play at the WGGB Awards in 2022.
Work for theatre includes: The P Word (Bush Theatre); Kabul Goes Pop: Music Television Afghanistan (Brixton House, Mercury Theatre, & HighTide); Sholay on the Big Screen (Off Stage Theatre, Bush & Nubian Life); I Don’t Know What To Do (co-creator – Vault Festival). His translation work includes Alexis Michalik’s The Art of Illusion (Hampstead Theatre); Famalam (Season 4 contributor); Sketchtopia and Newsjack (BBC Radio 4 – Contributor); Lost Paradise (Short film B3 Media/UK Film Council). He is currently under commission at the Almeida Theatre & Unicorn Theatre.
Work for television includes: The Road Trip (Paramount+/42MP) and a television adaptation of his hit play The P Word (House Productions). He is a current participant of the BBC Studios Spotlight scheme developing an original drama with Sid Gentle Films. His original audio play Mrs Bibi will be released by Audible in 2025.
As an actor his credits include Cruella, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen and The Great.
